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Woke Parenting and Suicide Prevention (a Food for thought blog post)

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Love them unconditionally.  Accept them for who they are. Give them what they want.  Call them by their preferred name.  Make them comfortable.  Don’t create waves.  Don’t ask them to do anything they don’t want to do … God forbid we should offend them or make them angry at us, their parents (or their teachers, their doctors, their employers, their case managers, their safety personnel, their pastors … the list could go on forever).  That’s the key … or so we’re erroneously led to believe … that’s the key to suicide prevention with this new generation of children, of preteens, and, yes, even of adults in this supposedly new day and age. 

We, as believers in Christ, as those lovers of Jesus and those who are called to “love our neighbor as ourselves” have been challenged to keep our mouths shut about what we really believe … about what we would really like to say to these people at risk of committing suicide.

And what is it, you may ask, that we really want to say?  The truth.  The simple, God honest truth.  The truth of God’s Word.  The truth that can set the captives free.  The truth that can change their lives … for the better. The truth that love can be brutally honest.  The truth that perfect love casts out fear.

Perfect love … from God above … doesn’t hold anything back.  Perfect love, from a perfect God, is not woke.  It is not “willfully overlooking known evil” (w.o.k.e) … instead, it acts with the “wisdom that is first of all pure” … wisdom that the Holy Spirit provides as we look to Him … and Him alone … in how to talk to those teetering on the brink of suicide … teetering between ending their struggle to fit in, their struggle to be accepted and understood, their struggle to do whatever their heart leads them to do … without any negative consequences as a result.

Yes, the struggle is real.  Yes, they may be tempted to give in and give up their struggle … to take the seemingly easy way out … although it’s not easy at all … nothing worth having or doing is ever truly easy … not even suicide.  That’s why some people give warning signs … they don’t really want to go through with it, not really.  They give warning signs, they test boundaries, they create chaos, they manipulate the emotions of others around them that care so very much about them because … they have not learned … they have not been taught … they have not experienced the reality that throwing a temper tantrum is not the way to get what they want.

The people around them love them “so much” they would do anything … even keep silent about their concerns … just to make their loved one happy and just to buy them even one more day on this earth … rather than risk saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing for fear it’ll push them “over the edge” into the abyss of suicide.

They don’t want to be held responsible … they don’t want to be held accountable … they don’t want to have to live with themselves if they could have done something … anything … to prevent the suicide of their son, their daughter, their niece, their nephew, their student, their friend, their loved one … this list goes on.

But, in life, only the person who risks is free.  Only the person who takes a chance, who steps up to the plate, who opens their mouth and speaks the truth in love … only the person who truly shows their love … not only in word but also in deed … by taking action and respectfully treating their loved one the way God treats His children, the way their heavenly Father treats them as shown all throughout His Word, the Bible.

Only when it is shown through their lives that God is not only a loving God but also a just God.  Not only is God caring, but is also stern.  Only when we realize the same God who sent Jesus to earth to die for the sins of humanity is also the same God who disciplines us as a father disciplines his children … out of love for them … only then, when we allow Him to live in and through us … only then can we, as parents (and others) be free to “buck the system” of woke parenting and suicide prevention by doing something different, doing something totally radical … by living according to God’s Word … rather than by the world’s way that just wants to make everyone happy so they don’t go and kill themselves.

Harsh language? Yes.  Harsh reality? Yes.  Harsh life?  Yes.  But what did Jesus Himself say? “In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world.”

Dare to be different.  Dare to speak the truth in love.  Dare to discipline your children as God, our Father in Heaven, disciplines us … remembering that, no discipline is pleasant at the time, but painful, but those who are trained by it will benefit from it … for eternal life.

This world is full of hard knocks … not everyone is liked and accepted and approved by all.  Not everyone fits in, not everyone feels like they belong.  What’s the answer? It is always the same … Jesus.

Having a personal relationship with Jesus is the only relationship where we are truly accepted, approved, and loved … not because of who we are, not because of what we do or don’t do … but because of who He is, because of what He has done … taking the penalty of all our sins on the cross … dying in our place … when there was nothing we could ever do to earn our way into His good graces or into Heaven … Jesus did it all … and when we receive His gift of salvation through faith alone … we become a new creation in Christ … the old has passed away, the new has come.  And with that new life we realize, we are only responsible and accountable to One person … to Him.  And if we are doing our job and speaking the truth of His Word in love, the results are up to Him.  All we can do is our part.  So don’t be afraid to teach your children the truth of God’s Word … it can save their soul!

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Pride: A Food for thought blog post

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Are you the type of person who likes to do everything themselves? Do you hate asking others for help? Would you be considered independent and a free spirit? If so, I’m sure you can relate to countless other people just like you … just like me.

Restrictions and boundaries … the kind that stop us from doing what we really want to do … are no fun. If it were moving day and there was nobody around to help lift the heavy boxes I’ll bet you would be tempted to do it all yourself … bad back and all … just because that restriction would be preventing you from doing what you really wanted to do … which is get the job done and over with.  However, there is a fine line between being independent and being foolish.  That’s where pride comes in.  If you know in your heart of hearts you really should listen to your body and you knowingly go beyond your limitations even further than absolutely necessary … you’re teetering on that fine line and about to fall into the trap of pride.

In Proverbs 16:18 (NIV) the Bible says, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.”  It’s all too easy to disregard restrictions and boundaries when we, instead, choose to listen to that independent, free spirit attitude that keeps egging us on to keep going … no matter what the cost.  You would think some of us were in a race to win a gold medal at the Olympics the way we run around … ignoring our body’s signals to slow down. In this fast paced world it’s hard to intentionally “stop and smell the roses” from time to time … but, unfortunately, if we don’t make the time voluntarily, our body might just rebel and make it for us as evidenced through sickness or disease slowing us down whether we like it or not.

The problem is not with our bodies, the problem is with pride… not wanting to humble ourselves and accept the way our bodies were created. In fact, Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV) says, “For you (God) created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” So, the reality is that we are wonderfully made … that is the absolute truth we find in God’s Word.  The problem is that we oftentimes don’t like not being able to do what we want to do, when (and how) we want to do it.  Our human nature and our attitude would rather rebel … and get prideful.

In Genesis 1:26-28 (NIV) we see God’s original intent when He created us: “Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.” So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, “Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.  Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”

So, here we see that we … all of us … were created in the image of God … and that he created us male and female … and his intention is for us to be fruitful and increase in number. A little further in Genesis 2:24 (NIV) …after the account of how woman was made… we read, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

Like I mentioned previously, the problem is not with our bodies, the problem is with pride… not wanting to humble ourselves and accept the way our bodies were created… and our human nature and our attitude would rather rebel … and get prideful. We would rather try to make our bodies do things it was never created to do… we would rather allow ourselves to be deceived into thinking we’re missing out on something good rather than humble ourselves and tell ourselves no … we can’t do it … it’s not the way God created me … no matter how much I desire to be “that way”… God did not create me “that way” and it’s more important to honor God and honor my body by using it the way God originally intended it to be used… to be fruitful and multiply… not only in the sense of expanding the human race… but also in the sense of using my unique gifts, talents, and abilities as the male or female God created me to be … to honor Him and be a blessing to others.

Pride gets in the way of God’s best for us.  Perhaps that’s why James 4:6-10 (NLT) says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” So humble yourselves before God.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.  Come close to God, and God will come close to you.  Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.  Let there be tears for what you have done.  Let there be sorrow and deep grief.  Let there be sadness instead of laughter, and gloom instead of joy.  Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up in honor.”

The bottom line about pride is this: We need to die to pride … we need to voluntarily tell ourselves no … before our bodies involuntarily make us say no. It doesn’t matter what the pride is about… pride from lifting boxes that are way too heavy for us, pride from not listening to our doctor’s advice about eating healthy and exercising to prevent us from getting diabetes or another life-changing disease, or pride from trying to make our bodies function as anything other than the male or female God originally created us to be when He created us in His image … that fearfully and wonderfully made creation that the Lord has promised to lift up in honor when we humble ourselves before Him.

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