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Woke Parenting and Suicide Prevention (a Food for thought blog post)

school building photo 2023

Love them unconditionally.  Accept them for who they are. Give them what they want.  Call them by their preferred name.  Make them comfortable.  Don’t create waves.  Don’t ask them to do anything they don’t want to do … God forbid we should offend them or make them angry at us, their parents (or their teachers, their doctors, their employers, their case managers, their safety personnel, their pastors … the list could go on forever).  That’s the key … or so we’re erroneously led to believe … that’s the key to suicide prevention with this new generation of children, of preteens, and, yes, even of adults in this supposedly new day and age. 

We, as believers in Christ, as those lovers of Jesus and those who are called to “love our neighbor as ourselves” have been challenged to keep our mouths shut about what we really believe … about what we would really like to say to these people at risk of committing suicide.

And what is it, you may ask, that we really want to say?  The truth.  The simple, God honest truth.  The truth of God’s Word.  The truth that can set the captives free.  The truth that can change their lives … for the better. The truth that love can be brutally honest.  The truth that perfect love casts out fear.

Perfect love … from God above … doesn’t hold anything back.  Perfect love, from a perfect God, is not woke.  It is not “willfully overlooking known evil” (w.o.k.e) … instead, it acts with the “wisdom that is first of all pure” … wisdom that the Holy Spirit provides as we look to Him … and Him alone … in how to talk to those teetering on the brink of suicide … teetering between ending their struggle to fit in, their struggle to be accepted and understood, their struggle to do whatever their heart leads them to do … without any negative consequences as a result.

Yes, the struggle is real.  Yes, they may be tempted to give in and give up their struggle … to take the seemingly easy way out … although it’s not easy at all … nothing worth having or doing is ever truly easy … not even suicide.  That’s why some people give warning signs … they don’t really want to go through with it, not really.  They give warning signs, they test boundaries, they create chaos, they manipulate the emotions of others around them that care so very much about them because … they have not learned … they have not been taught … they have not experienced the reality that throwing a temper tantrum is not the way to get what they want.

The people around them love them “so much” they would do anything … even keep silent about their concerns … just to make their loved one happy and just to buy them even one more day on this earth … rather than risk saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing for fear it’ll push them “over the edge” into the abyss of suicide.

They don’t want to be held responsible … they don’t want to be held accountable … they don’t want to have to live with themselves if they could have done something … anything … to prevent the suicide of their son, their daughter, their niece, their nephew, their student, their friend, their loved one … this list goes on.

But, in life, only the person who risks is free.  Only the person who takes a chance, who steps up to the plate, who opens their mouth and speaks the truth in love … only the person who truly shows their love … not only in word but also in deed … by taking action and respectfully treating their loved one the way God treats His children, the way their heavenly Father treats them as shown all throughout His Word, the Bible.

Only when it is shown through their lives that God is not only a loving God but also a just God.  Not only is God caring, but is also stern.  Only when we realize the same God who sent Jesus to earth to die for the sins of humanity is also the same God who disciplines us as a father disciplines his children … out of love for them … only then, when we allow Him to live in and through us … only then can we, as parents (and others) be free to “buck the system” of woke parenting and suicide prevention by doing something different, doing something totally radical … by living according to God’s Word … rather than by the world’s way that just wants to make everyone happy so they don’t go and kill themselves.

Harsh language? Yes.  Harsh reality? Yes.  Harsh life?  Yes.  But what did Jesus Himself say? “In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world.”

Dare to be different.  Dare to speak the truth in love.  Dare to discipline your children as God, our Father in Heaven, disciplines us … remembering that, no discipline is pleasant at the time, but painful, but those who are trained by it will benefit from it … for eternal life.

This world is full of hard knocks … not everyone is liked and accepted and approved by all.  Not everyone fits in, not everyone feels like they belong.  What’s the answer? It is always the same … Jesus.

Having a personal relationship with Jesus is the only relationship where we are truly accepted, approved, and loved … not because of who we are, not because of what we do or don’t do … but because of who He is, because of what He has done … taking the penalty of all our sins on the cross … dying in our place … when there was nothing we could ever do to earn our way into His good graces or into Heaven … Jesus did it all … and when we receive His gift of salvation through faith alone … we become a new creation in Christ … the old has passed away, the new has come.  And with that new life we realize, we are only responsible and accountable to One person … to Him.  And if we are doing our job and speaking the truth of His Word in love, the results are up to Him.  All we can do is our part.  So don’t be afraid to teach your children the truth of God’s Word … it can save their soul!

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Apple Pie: A Food for thought blog post

apple pie

Apples … or apple pie? Which would you prefer? If you’re like most people, the answer probably depends on time … and effort.  How much time are you willing to take? How much effort? If you’re in a hurry and don’t want to be bothered, the obvious choice would be to just grab an apple and go.

However, if you are really craving apple pie you may be willing to wait … and make the effort … either to go ahead and make the apple pie on your own … or at least make the effort to go to the store to buy a premade apple pie.  In that scenario, if someone were to offer you an apple as you were in the process of obtaining the pie you craved, it wouldn’t be very hard to turn them down now would it? You would know, in your heart of hearts, that a mere apple would not satisfy the craving and the taste you were after … so why settle for a substitute? If it’s something we really want … something we really crave and desire … we would most likely be willing to take whatever amount of time it took … and make whatever amount of effort we needed to make … to get our true desire fulfilled.

Just as with the choice between apples and apple pie, I believe a lot of people (perhaps unknowingly) choose the apple … when God’s desire is for them to enjoy apple pie.  God’s plan for our lives is oftentimes not as simple as the “grab it and go apple.” John 10:10 says that Jesus wants to give us life … and life more abundantly.  In other words, He doesn’t just want to sustain us so that we are alive and don’t die (ie the apple).  He wants us to thrive … He wants us to enjoy our lives … He wants to give us more than we could ever imagine … He, in fact, wants better for us than we want for ourselves.

As our Creator, God knows exactly what is best for us, personally.  He knows exactly how much time and effort it will take on our part to come into alignment with His will for our lives.  He knows exactly where we are at … right now … and how much faith we will need to exercise to get to wherever He wants us to go … growing in His grace and getting to know Him more every day so that we learn to trust Him in all things … even when they may not make sense to us.

Think about apple pie again for a moment.  It has lots of ingredients … flour, shortening, and milk for the pie crust … flour, brown sugar, cinnamon, and butter for a crumb topping … apples and brown sugar for the filling … lots of elements to give it that unmistakable sweetness of apple pie.  It is the same with our lives.  There are a lot of elements (ingredients, if you will) that make our lives give off a sweet  smelling aroma to the world around us (and to God).  Ingredients like love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness,  goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (as seen in Galatians 5).  Those ingredients get mixed into our lives as we live in relationship with God and as we yield to His Holy Spirit leading and guiding us in the choices we make every day.

The closer our relationship with God, the greater our potential to give off the aroma of Christ … the sweet smell the world needs … whether they realize it or not. Having that relationship is what transforms our desires … to live a life not just for ourselves … to sustain ourselves so that we don’t die (ie, the apple), but gives us the desire to honor and glorify God through our lives … so that whatever we do we choose to do in a way that draws other people to God … since they have smelled that aroma (ie, the apple pie) and they find (perhaps surprisingly) that they actually like the smell … so much so that they want to have that personal relationship with God themselves.

People who once settled for just a “grab and go apple” will come to desire apple pie … they will come to desire a life full of elements and ingredients that make their lives not only sweet smelling … but also completely satisfying … a life that satisfies their soul like nothing else ever could. 

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